For the first time, she really was aware of the city noise. Was it the man passing her, screaming into his phone, his voice swallowed by the cars driving by; was it the thundering underground train that connects people with their work place; or was it a mixture of all? It was funny, she thought, she had always lived here and never once thought about the noise before. In fact, there were parts of the city that were completely calm, expecially in autumn. She liked it when the leaves turned red and yellow. They made her think of Alice. She pushed the thought away. She wasn’t going to dominate her thinking today. She wouldn’t let her. How do you go on when everything ends? She had learned that there was always an end to pain, the body just couldn’t cope with it for ever. There had been darkness, something she’d been afraid of all her life, for an eternity and then someone had somewhere made a joke and she had laughed. Just like that there had been this joke, this silver lining, and this strange sensation of laughing that she had felt in her body. And at the end of the darkness she had seen light.